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Everything I need to know as a mediator I am learning from being a Grandparent. By Paula Drouin, Founder and Director, ADR Learning Institute Spending New Year’s Eve alone with a two-year-old and a four-year-old can teach you what you need to know as a professional neutral facilitator, commonly referred to as a mediator.  The first thing I noticed was how slow the clock was ticking for me. It’s like time stands still. It felt like I’d been there for at least an hour but only 15 minutes had ticked by. Then I realized the grandsons were simply fully engaged [...]

Being a mediator for a quarter century has taught me a few things. Most recently I’ve been reminded of the value of being invisible and the level of humility it takes to master being a mediator.

What makes a great mediator? Turns out it is the ability to listen deeply and be fully present. Over twenty-five years being a mediator and delivering mediation training, I’ve gained a deep respect for the presence truly great mediators bring to their party’s negotiation.

The journey to understand yourself requires an exploration of what you believe to be true. Because what you believe to be true is how you add meaning to the moments in your life.

We all notice when someone seems distraught, anxious, uncomfortable, upset, or distressed.  We find ourselves deciding whether to give them space or check in with them.  If we are unsure of how to check on them, our default may be to just give them space.  But there is a simple way to help them process what they are going through, if you keep it S.I.M.P.L.E. Smile as you approach them.  Their brain will register your approach as non-threatening. Inquire about how they are doing ‘today’, or at this moment. You can mention what you are noticing about their behaviour and ask [...]

By: Paula Drouin, Founder and President of ADR International Group Inc. and ADR Learning Institute I recently finished reading a book called A Better Man by Louise Penny.  There are two lines in the book that have inspired this little article.  The first is “If you own the truth, then you must also own the malice.” The second is “Things are strongest when they are broken.”  I recognize that we all assign our own meaning to the words we read.  This article represents the meaning I have assigned. “If you own the truth, then you must also own the malice.” [...]