Written by: Soleida Perez, Program Director, ADR Learning Institute
Listening as a Relational Practice: Reflections from the Mont Tremblant Gathering
Earlier this month, mediators, facilitators, coaches, peacebuilders, and dialogue practitioners gathered in Mont Tremblant, Quebec to explore a deceptively simple question:
What conditions allow humans to truly listen to one another?
This inquiry began at the World Mediation Summit in 2024, continued through the Mediterranean Mediators Gathering in Port-Vendres, France in 2025, and found new expression this year through a series of conversations focused on listening.
Throughout the Gathering, participants explored listening from multiple perspectives: listening to self, listening as a circle facilitator, preparing parties to listen, listening as a mediator, and the relationship between curiosity and listening.
One insight emerged repeatedly: listening is not a simple communication skill in preparation for how we respond. Listening is a relational practice.
Meaningful listening appears to require more than techniques. It is shaped by the conditions WE create around a conversation. Participants reflected on the importance of welcome, belonging, curiosity, presence, relationship, compassion, and a willingness to remain open to uncertainty.
Several discussions explored the distinction between safety and comfort. While people need conditions that allow them to participate authentically, meaningful conversations often invite us into uncomfortable territory. Listening requires the courage (from the French courage – heart) to remain present, to hear perspectives different from our own, and sometimes to be changed by what we hear.
Curiosity also emerged as a recurring theme. Participants observed that many conflicts become entrenched when people assume they already understand the other person’s intentions, motivations, or experiences. Embodying and modeling curiosity creates space for discovery and allows us to move beyond assumptions toward deeper understanding.
The Gathering also expanded the definition of listening itself. Listening was described not only as hearing words with our ears, but listening with our whole bodies, observing what is happening in the room, noticing silence, paying attention to relationships, and remaining aware of what may not yet have been expressed.
As mediators and facilitators, we are often trained in skills and processes. This Gathering reminded us that how we show up may be just as important as what we do. Presence, hospitality and curiosity are not separate from our practice. These skills are among the conditions that make meaningful dialogue possible.
The inquiry remains open.
As participants return home, we hope they carry with them a renewed appreciation for the role listening plays in mediation, leadership, relationships, and community. Perhaps the most important question we take forward is not how to listen better, but how to create the conditions in which people can truly hear one another. We look forward to continuing this conversation in future Gatherings and learning together what listening asks of us next.
