Conflict Resolution Tips

nyone who knows me knows that I have described gossip as the cancer in organizations. They have heard me say that employee’s dependence on the informal information pipeline, called gossip, could be damaging moral, undermining leadership, and causing harm. Gossip is cited as an example of disrespect in most modern Respectful Workplace Policies.  So why would I write an article talking about the importance of gossip in an organization? Because, in my quest to become old and wise, not just old, I read topics to expose myself to ideas that are different from the ones I hold true.

Author: Paula Drouin in appreciation and memory of Kenneth Newell “Tell me, what it is you plan to do with your one wild, precious life.” – by Mary Oliver. This is a quote I saw during a recent holiday.  It was hanging on the wall in the dining room and greeted me at every meal.  Being in the business of conflict resolution I most often meet people when they are unhappy, disillusioned, dissatisfied, frustrated, and feeling trapped between fight, freeze, flight, tend or befriend.  Being in those states can land a person a long way from remembering that they only [...]

Author: Paula Drouin, Founder ADR Learning Institute “Conflict is the Pathway to Intimacy”, said author Carl Whitaker, a famous family therapist.[1] This is a saying I heard decades ago, and have been using as a stimulus for discussion in various workshops. Do you agree or disagree?  Some think the statement would be more accurate if it read, “intimacy is the pathway to conflict”. Both are probably true and answering which comes first would be like trying to answer the chicken or the egg question. In this article, the word intimacy refers to really knowing someone. What makes them tick? What’s important [...]

The time has come to create “Conflict Encouraged" work spaces, please.  If I have learned anything after twenty-one years of being a ‘neutral’ parachuting into organizations to address conflict, it is this: Talking about the other person, does not resolve conflict Picking a side, does not resolve conflict Finger pointing, fault finding, and blaming others, does not resolve conflict Ignoring conflict, does not resolve conflict Formal complaints, do not resolve conflict Conflict is not the name of an individual It is time to accept that when two or more of us are gathered together a conflict will arise.  Conflict is [...]

“The world isn't fair, Calvin." "I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?” ― Bill Watterson, The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury Have you ever wondered what is going on in your brain or the brains of your clients and coworkers when a conflict exists?  Have you been surprised or confused about what appeared to be an “off the chart” reaction to something you perceived as pretty mundane?  Well, breakthroughs in Neuro Science are now beginning to explain some of that phenomenon. Throughout my career I have noticed that ‘fairness’ is frequently [...]