Being a mediator for a quarter century has taught me a few things. Most recently I’ve been reminded of the value of being invisible and the level of humility it takes to master being a mediator.
What makes a great mediator? Turns out it is the ability to listen deeply and be fully present. Over twenty-five years being a mediator and delivering mediation training, I’ve gained a deep respect for the presence truly great mediators bring to their party’s negotiation.
The journey to understand yourself requires an exploration of what you believe to be true. Because what you believe to be true is how you add meaning to the moments in your life.
We all notice when someone seems distraught, anxious, uncomfortable, upset, or distressed. We find ourselves deciding whether to give them space or check in with them. If we are unsure of how to check on them, our default may be to just give them space. But there is a simple way to help them process what they are going through, if you keep it S.I.M.P.L.E. Smile as you approach them. Their brain will register your approach as non-threatening. Inquire about how they are doing ‘today’, or at this moment. You can mention what you are noticing about their behaviour and ask [...]
ADR Learning Institute’s Mediation Training is now recognized by IMI – International Mediation Institute. This is the announcement from their blog post on January 28, 2021: New IMI Certified Mediator Training Program: ADR Learning Institute (Canada) We are delighted to announce that ADR Learning Institute has had its training program approved as an IMI Certified Mediator Training Program. Retrospective recognition is in place for graduates from 1 December 2019, and we are delighted to recognise another program headed by an IMI Certified Mediator, Paula Drouin. IMI Certified Mediator Training Programs, or CMTPs, meet international competency criteria for mediation training excellence. Individuals [...]
By: Paula Drouin, Founder and President of ADR International Group Inc. and ADR Learning Institute I recently finished reading a book called A Better Man by Louise Penny. There are two lines in the book that have inspired this little article. The first is “If you own the truth, then you must also own the malice.” The second is “Things are strongest when they are broken.” I recognize that we all assign our own meaning to the words we read. This article represents the meaning I have assigned. “If you own the truth, then you must also own the malice.” [...]
ADR Learning Institute has grown so much this year it was time to share the excitement and workload by hiring some staff. In August we hired our first employee as a Part-time Education Administrative Assistant to take care of everything related to student records. She can do things in Excel, Word, PowerPoint and Mail Merge that I did not know was possible. In October we hired a Part-time Education Coordinator to take care of editing course content, booking coaches, interacting with students about course content, assignment reviews, updating content and tracking learner progress in our online school platform – eLearn. MEET OUR LEARNER’S [...]
The Art of Conflict Resolution Certificate Program in collaboration with the University of Alberta, Faculty of Extension. Art of Conflict Resolution Zoom Graduation June 2020 We had 8 graduates from our first online Art of Conflict Resolution Certificate Program. We congratulate Paulette DeKelver, Al Proulx, Adnerys Armstrong, John Freebury, Stacy Grainger-Schatz, Christine Wong, Krista Smith, and Tracy Sharuga. The photo is from our last Zoom Class and the other photo is a sample of course materials as well as the course materials holder that all graduates received along with their Certificate. Feedback from Learner’s has consistently been amazing. They not [...]
The armistice agreement was signed at 5:00am on the 11th day of the 11th month, 1918, but was not to take effect for 6 hours. Messages were sent to the front lines informing military personnel that the war would end at 11:00am. For a moment put yourself in the wet, cold boots of a soldier on the front lines huddled in a smelly, noisy trench, being given that message. Would you be wondering how they could be sure? Would the news give you hope, or have you lost all of that? Would you be wondering if that meant you would [...]
When was the last time you apologized? What motivated the apology? Was the apology to sooth your guilt, silence the other person, or just to move on? Or did it come from a place of understanding how your behaviour impacted the other and then it was given for their benefit and the benefit of the relationship? I am not referring to the “I’m sorry” that Canadians are famous for delivering daily. The “I’m sorry I bumped into you” or “I’m sorry I reached for the same book you were reaching for.” Or the “I’m sorry that I said I’m sorry [...]
