Mid-February 2024, after six years of offering their online Mediation Training Certification Program, the ADR Learning Institute (ADRLI) sent a survey to its mediation alumni. The survey objectives were to gain insight on what had motivated learners to enroll in the program and how it had impacted them. It also asked alumni what they were doing at the time of enrolment and what they are doing now.
The goal was also to provide content and support to write this newsletter article. Being mediation alumni myself, I declare my bias. What a good start for a newsletter on mediation! Luckily, like the mediation process not being about the mediator, this newsletter is not about me (and me facing my fear to write something in English because course assignments), so I can breathe.
At the time of their enrolment, the survey shows that we, alumni, had very diverse backgrounds and positions. Working in HR, customer service, being a store manager, social justice advocate, coach, student, program evaluator, probation officer, project manager, lawyer, school district superintendent, to name a few.
The survey showed that we had made the decision to register for mediation training essentially for professional reasons: to feel more confident with conflictual situations at work, to be able to help coworkers deal with conflict, to gain skills that would be recognized by the “private sector”, as being complementary to law studies and advocacy work, for continuing education, diversifying practices, switching careers, and as professional development to enhance promotional opportunities in our chosen field.
Since completing the mediation program, many alumni have made important changes in their professional lives. Some have set up their own mediation practice, restorative justice practice and coaching businesses, landed new positions and/or contracts, or were assigned to amazing missions & roles. For instance, one alumni is now in charge of building the Restorative Justice Program for the Department of National Defence; another is the Membership Services Coordinator and Executive Assistant for ADRIA (ADR Institute of Alberta); another is now a Consultation Advisor between Indigenous Communities and Project Proponents within Alberta; one went from HR to Workplace Restoration Consultant for the City of Edmonton, and another is now a Vice President at a prestigious University. That’s impressive! I hope not only from my biased point of view!
It is safe to say that the training has achieved its goal to meet students’ expectations. The discussion could almost end here, if the survey hadn’t asked the question about the impact of the training on them personally and professionally.
It is important to mention that the Mediation Certification requires 40 hours of Conflict Resolution and Communication prerequisites. It is important because it is where it all began for many of us.
Unlike many professional skills that can be learned at a cognitive level, be mechanical, strategical, repetitive (i.e. marketing, social media advertising, type or read faster, …), conflict resolution skills need a little more than our cognitive, strategic brain. To be acquired, they require an emotional level and acknowledgement, a commitment to promote understanding, openness, will for connection, courage to embrace discomfort and vulnerability, curiosity and honesty (with self and others). It pushed us (or at least me) to really apply and live according to the KEN Principle (Kindness – Engagement – Neutral Mind)[1] towards ourselves and others, in all aspects of our lives.
Responses to the impact question showed that we gained confidence and ease in conflict situations, at professional and/or personal levels, we gained a better understanding of conflict, of self and others, a sense of purpose, it offered new perspectives, openness, and applying the skills strengthened and even healed wounded relationships. There was a huge sense of gratitude for all the gifts the mediation training had provided us.
The alumni, me included, made a deliberate choice to train, and end up “in the middle of a conflict between parties, and help them have a collaborative conversation”. A mediator is a neutral party without any decision, recommendation or even consultation power in the heat of a conflictual situation. The mediator oversees the process, not the outcome. It seems counter-productive, counter-intuitive, and not very attractive, doesn’t it?
So how can we bridge the gap between getting in the heat and the discomfort of a conflict without “powerful weapons and countermeasures” and be grateful and willing to kindly engage with a neutral mind?
We are game! Yes, game, and courageous to face conflicts, have difficult conversations, to ask questions, to be curious. And we are willing to be beginners again, to fail, to own our emotions, to be vulnerable, to show our true selves and to be kind and empathetic towards ourselves and others. The magic ingredient here is the emotion, “e-motion” = the movement, to go with, to discover the emotions, to acknowledge them, to own them. They are the glue, they are our commonality, they are universal, and they don’t even require us to speak the same language to understand each other. We speak the same language, the language of emotions and we can share, listen, and understand each other. The emotions reveal our needs, our interests, what’s important to us, what matters to each of us.
What disputants need from conflict resolvers is more than process: they need understanding, encouragement, creativity, strength, wisdom, strategic thinking, confrontation, patience, encouragement, humour, courage, and a host of other qualities that are not only about process or substance.[2] (Mayer “Beyond Neutrality: Confronting the Crisis in Conflict Resolution, 2004, p 146 – copied from an excerpt in ADR Learning Institute’s Mediation Training manual p. 10)
I used to think and say, “these emotional and social skills should be taught to our kids as early as kindergarten”. I recently had the opportunity to role play for the current mediation cohort with an alumnus, Steve Rapanos, he said to me: “Every leader should take this training, you will be equipped to mitigate conflict early, your workplace will be better for it.”
From my perspective, the Conflict Resolution and Mediation Training has the potential to change you and your life deeply. It teaches skills that create “better living together”. I find it crucial. (still biased, yes!).
Marion Berard graduated from ADRLI’s Mediation Training Certificate Program the summer of 2021. She has since completed our Conflict Coaching Certificate, Facilitating Workplace Restoration Course, and the Restorative Justice and Peacemaking Circles course delivered in partnership with Native Counselling Services of Albert. French is her mother tongue as she was born and raised in France. She learned English when she came to Canada. Currently working winter months in Golden, BC and summer months in France.
[1] The KEN Principle has been created and shared by Paula DROUIN, Director of the ADR Learning Institute, in the courses of the Art of Conflict Resolution and Mediation of ADR Learning Institute.
[2] Bernie Mayer “Beyond Neutrality: Confronting the Crisis in Conflict Resolution, 2004, p 146 – excerpt from ADR Learning Institute’s Mediation Training manual p.10
